Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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