yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
