Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
