Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
