so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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