YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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