yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
