Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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