Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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