Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records