i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.