But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.