And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night