I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer