AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
