Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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