i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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