She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
