would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
