i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
