we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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