**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize