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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (352): View more from Florida

  She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  I see you found the nyquil...

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