I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos