I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
