Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
only if we run a train.
done.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think people are normalizing furries
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
