Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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