using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
