Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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