if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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