If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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