Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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