Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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