How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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