He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
