I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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