is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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