You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
