just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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