Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
