And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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