I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if only i could text you this smell
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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