butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
