she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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