you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
