Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
