dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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