bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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