dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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