Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
