i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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