My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
