Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How's work?
Spinning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize