You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
