how can u be prego again
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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