he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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