I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Everything about him screamed your future.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
