Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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