I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
