So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
