He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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