Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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