who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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