so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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