drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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