the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
