ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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