shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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