Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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